The Spider Cliff Mysteries

The following character biographies are here for the benefit of anyone looking for quick data on the cast and their relationships. As such, THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW, so if you want the full experience, I recommend skipping this section and going straight to the first chapter.

The cast of the Spider Cliff Mysteries...

Barlow Bean Ever since his childhood, Barlow has wanted nothing more than to leave Spider Cliff behind. The lack of communication with the rest of the world and the general lack of culture in Spider Cliff has lead to Barlow's introversion and embracing books as an escape from his situation. He dreams of someday joining the intelligentsia at the University of Sprawling-Mossville and becoming a Great Philosopher. Barlow feels that events and people have conspired to keep him in Spider Cliff. He actively refuses to participate in his trained role as the town's official demon-hunter. As the last remaining member of Spider Cliff's foremost family, Barlow is wealthy enough to not require a job, and has consequently never learned any useful skills in his 19 years.

Crystal Gorgon-Zola Crystal, as she prefers to be known, is a demon from a middle-class suburb of the underworld. She is worldly and educated, but life in the modern world has worn her down, and she feels that her discovery of Spider Cliff has given her a second chance in life. She works as a waitress in the Revolving Spider Diner, where she tries to fit into the local society. Crystal is never without her dark sunglasses, as her eyes can turn people to stone.


Rebecca St.Spigot Rebecca is not a native of Spider Cliff, although her status as the owner of the Revolving Spider Diner makes her one of the town's foremost citizens. As the proprietress of the social nexus of Spider Cliff, she always knows what is happening in town, and as the town's only witch, she is the link to the town's many resident ghosts. Rebecca always strives to do whatever is best for the town.


Alex St.Spigot Largely viewed as the town simpleton, Alex has nonetheless learned more about the history of Spider Cliff than anyone alive. His pride for the town is only matched by his hatred of anything he deems evil, and he constantly fears an impending demon invasion. Alex's occasional psychotic episodes make him a poor choice as demon-hunter, but feels responsible for helping Barlow in that role.


Turnip The most intelligent member of his species, Turnip feels responsible for protecting his fellow paper mammals from those who would hunt them. His feud with the Sheriff is well-documented. Turnip learned to speak and read English from Barlow, his best friend.


Eliza Blake Eliza has no interest or belief in the supernatural, and is hostile towards anyone who doesn't subscribe to her rational, reductionist point of view. She shuns the town, preferring to remain in the marsh where she does botanical studies for her PhD. Her environmentalist beliefs and respect for plant and animal life are exemplified by her refusal to eat anyone but fungus and lichen.


Annabelle Bumbershoot Annabelle was once a performer in the Brimly and Bumbershoot Circus of Amusements, but now hangs around Spider Cliff, dreaming of consuming the brains of the living. She is quite confused by Crystal's orders not to follow her zombie instincts, but she's being a good sport about it.


Sheriff Sluggmosse The Sheriff likes to keep everything in balance. He likes the idea of having both a demon and demon-hunter in Spider Cliff, and recently seems to be trying to broker a match between them. Since Spider Cliff only rarely requires an officer of the law, the Sheriff spends most of his time with at his one hobby: hunting and trapping paper mammals. His great nemesis is Turnip.